Davido in the Toilet: Matters Arising

When I was very young, I used to think that celebrities and superstars like those we see on TV or listen to on the radio do not poo poo, i.e do not pass out excrement, defecate, call it what you like.

I just couldn’t imagine someone like Michael Jackson having something as vile and and smelly and disgusting as poo coming out of a hole in his nether regions.

Up until today I never really knew whether it is true or not that celebrities don’t use the toilet because I could never really prove that they do not. There was always this running argument or doubt in my head because the way many celebrities package themselves and carry their shoulders, you would think that they do not use the toilet.

Despite being taught in school that excretion is one of the characteristics of living things, you will still have doubts when you see the way some celebrities and superstars behave and carry themselves. Even some people who are essentially nobodys still act as if they don’t poo poo.

Well I finally had the definite answer and proof today that no matter how you package yourself, whether superstar or ordinary person, as long as you are alive you must pass out faeces whether in the toilet or elsewhere.

The proof I had came on the morning of November 21st when I woke up to many photos, stories and congratulatory messages flooding the internet and social media for Nigerian superstar musician Davido a.k.a O.B.O on his birthday

Among all the photos and videos splashed everywhere, the one that really caught my eye was the one of Davido in the toilet, seating on the damn thing with his trousers down, taking a dump and “shmiling” like it was nothing.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing: so even Davido as “large” as he is still goes to the loo to take a dump. And he didn’t even seem to care so much that someone was taking a video of him. A video that eventually ended up online from someone close to him who was wishing him a happy birthday.

Speaking of being captured on camera in the toilet taking a dump, that is something that would very much unnerve someone like me. To be honest I won’t find it funny if a picture of me in the toilet is made public talk more of a video. I guess people are different and apparently Davido does not mind.

But me, I happen to be the opposite. I must confess that I am the type of person that can’t even comfortably take a dump if there is someone closeby.

I have always been like this and I always wondered why this is so. Could it be because I don’t want people to hear that embarassing plop plop or blabablabablaba sound that let’s anybody within earshot know that this guy is taking a dump? Or the sweet perfume that emanates from the brownish blobs escaping my anal opening. That perfume that can rival any Armani or YSL perfume anyday?

In fact when I was young I used to wish I would become a celebrity superstar so that I wouldn’t have to go to the toilet any more because like I mentioned earlier, I used to believe that celebrities don’t poo poo.

Now that I know better, I imagine if God had granted me my wish and turned me into a celebrity, I would have been so so disappointed because as I have just learnt from Davido’s poop video, even celebrities need to dump too. And their poo probably smells a lot too because celebrities like good life and tend to consume much protein like meat, eggs etc which are known culprits for really smelly poo.

No offense my dear O.B.O because there is nobody who does not poo smelly poo. Just try to make sure that you don’t eat too much meat and suya and other “mendemendes” on your birthday so that you will not send people running out of the house by the time you enter the toilet to unleash your anal “armani” perfume.

Happy birthday Bro! Wish you higher highs in life.

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