What Is Marriage To You

Marriage is so many things to different people & how we view it determines our actions. If to you marriage is a one man show, then you will be content doing things as an individual without recourse to the other party.
Naijaparrot.comIf to you marriage is a contractual arrangement that can be dissolved when one party breaches the terms & conditions, all you will see in your partner are the negatives that call for a dissolution
If marriage to you is a game, then your priority would not be on the welfare of your partner, neither will it be on the success of your marriage, your priority would be on winning. It gives you a selfish mentality causing you to be in the spotlight. Marriage as a game leaves you with one desire  ———–> to win at all cost.

To me, marriage will always be what my father told me years ago as a bride to be. He said ” Marriage is like a car. Your husband is the driver while you’re (me)  a front seat passenger ” Just like my father said, viewing marriage as a car has taught me a lot over the years…

—–> The only way to ensure we as a couple will ever arrive at the same place is to ensure we are heading for the same destination. We have no business getting in the car in the first place if we can’t figure out or agree on where we are going to. (Singles take note)

As a couple there must be a vision, an agreement on what you expect from your marriage. Once that is done your actions will align automatically.

—–> There is only one steering wheel and driver’s seat; thus there can be only one driver. Stop the power struggle. When you struggle with the person driving, either of these happen ; you crash, driver looses concentration and goes of route, delay & loss of precious time. Every time you struggle for control with your husband you get into arguments & misunderstandings that stagnates your relationship & marriage.  Someone might ask “what then is my role? ” “am I supposed to be docile? ” “what if he is driving us into a ditch & he can’t see it? ”

These are the common concerns in the heart of most women & what you need most is the WISDOM to deal with it.
Your role as a wife is like that of a compass. Everyone who has ever lost their way knows and appreciates the value of a compass. Note what I said “everyone who has lost his /her way “. Because of the egoistical nature in a man, they often struggle in admitting their wrongs.  While on the drivers seat, offer him your suggestions before making decision together.  If he decides to go on a certain path (except it posses a danger to your life & safety) allow him make his mistakes  & learn from them.

I realized in my marriage that the moment I try to super impose my decisions or point of view things go from bad to worse.  My marriage & I suffer for it immensely and my husband never learns his lessons.
As Wives we must learn to allow our husbands make mistakes & learn from them. Only then will they come to value your wise counsel.  Remember, if you struggle you, you might just crash….

—–>Marriage is like a car, check the oil level, ensure you have water in your radiator, gauge your tires, ensure your headlamps are in good conditions,because the night would come,dont leave things to chance, be deliberate about it because no  matter how much you agree on your destination, a bad car would never get you there.
Service your Car, take time out with your spouse to refresh………

Marriage is like a Car, don’t stay on the bad roads for too long. It causes “wear & tear “. If all you do is fight with your partner all day, someday neither of you will be able to continue with the drama

Marriage is like a car, fuel it with love, passion, intimacy, communication to keep it going. Marriage is like driving a Car, be focused, avoid distractions to avoid  a crash. Keep your eye on your partner because when your eye is single, your whole body would be full of light.

Marriage is like a car, & it’s only as good as the parties in it.

I have just shared what marriage is to me, I’d love to hear your thoughts …….

What is marriage to you?

Written By Eyitemi Adebowale