What to Focus on When Choosing a Mate

When a young man spots a lady that catches his fancy he begins to “check her out “. He considers what he sees on the outside before any other thing. Same thing applies to the young ladies ; they look at how good looking he is, can he provide emotional & financial security, is he romantic? blah, blah, blah………


Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing absolutely wrong with this point of view, as a matter of fact it an act that both sexes carry out consciously or unconsciously…. it’s a fallout of our natural make -up….. (even Adam was wowed the first time he saw Eve…….. he declared her bone of his bones & flesh of his flesh before exchanging a word with her) – My point? It’s our nature to judge a book by it’s cover.
In reality, many of us have come to learn, either by our personal experiences or that of others, that judging a book by it’s cover, is not in our best interest. A potential spouse is like a book. Regardless of what the title says, you still need to go through the content before you can say with a degree of certainty that the book is what you need.
Let’s start with the ladies : The average lady when trying to decide if a man is right for her, looks at things from the angle that would be benefical to her ; is he romantic, does he love me, can he meet my needs, will my parents accept him & so on. Whereas, the real focus should be, “Can I be the helpmeet that will help fulfill his dreams, destiny & goals “? Since a woman has been designed to be a helpmeet, a backbone & a support, you must know what his dreams, goals & aspirations are & ask yourself if you have what it takes to help him accomplish them. Do you complement him, do you believe in those dreams of his…… It’s only when your answer to these are yes that you can trully consider him a spouse.
For the young men, as much as I understand that you are wired to be stimulated by sight, you must never let go of the most important things. There’s no point in marrying the most beautiful girl if she ends up being a liability to you or a thorn in your flesh. Beyond compatibility, you must ensure your potential wife understands your goals, embraces your goals & has what it takes to help you achieve them.
Anything outside all I’ve mentioned is known as “MISPLACED PRIORITY “



Written By Eyitemi Adebowale


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