Recently, I’ve had to be reminded about our humane nature, the mortality of each one of us & most importantly the vulnerability of man; this is the feeling you get when you’re suddenly dissapointed or a much anticipated desire falls short.
Prior to marriage a lot of young women are filled with dreams & anticipation of what their ideal or dream marriage would look like; but these expectations are soon met with reality-
–The reality that no one is perfect,
–The reality that you should not have depended or trusted so much in man
–The reality that God is the only one who can fufill all your expectations without letting you down It happens in everyday life & our marriages are no exceptions.
I’m not saying you should not have expectations of your husbands; for example;
–you expect your husband to love you,
–you expect him to be faithful to you,
–you expect him to fulfill his leadership roles in your marriage & your home
–You expect him to be there for your children …..The list is varied & endless for every woman, marriage & home. But you must remember that your husband is only human & there WILL be times he won’t measure up or live up to expectations ; just as You & I as Wives have failed to live it up @ some point in time.
I’ve realized especially from experience that on the average we set expectations based on people’s strenght & personalities. For example its easy to put an honest man or a man with intergrity in charge of Money because you expect him not to steal; same thing applies in your marriage . Psalm 20:7-8″ some trust in chariots & some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees & they fall, but we rise & stand firm ”
So the next time you experience a big let down in your marriage, take it as a subtle reminder from God telling you to trust him instead. The whole idea is to rely on The Spirit of God to work through your spouse & make up for those places where he might fall short. Zer 4:6 “its not by power or by might, but by His Spirit.
When your partner does not measure up; it’s not a time to burst into a fury of anger,
–When your partner does not measure up; it’s not a time to apportion blames & make him realize how incapable he is
–When your partner does not measure up; it’s not a time to shout it on the rooftops
–When your partner does not measure up; it’s not a time to hold on to malicious grudges
–When your partner does not measure up; it’s not a time to stop loving………
– It’s a time to pray for his weaknesses & They strenght he so much needs
–It’s a time to love even when you don’t feel like it or think he is not deserving of it (That’s unconditional)A let down on the part of your partner is a feed back process that calls for sincere & open dialouge.
Your place as a partner or a wife is not to be the first one to castigate him or laugh at him when he falters; neither is is for you judge him. Your job function is to help him stand again.
Ecc 4:9 says “2 are better than 1; while verse 10 says “if one falls down ;his friend can help him up ” The Bible recognises there will be times we fall, times when our strenght fails us, but things will be a lot easier when there’s a friend to help us up.
This is the core of my message; WHEN YOUR PARTNER DOESN’T MEASURE UP; MAKE SURE YOU’RE THAT WIFE (FRIEND) WHO HELPS HIM UP(Ecc 4:9-12); NOT ONE THAT DIGS HIS GRAVE……
Written By Eyitemi Adebowale